Saturday, November 20, 2010

Making Space

{image source Runner's World magazine Dec 2010}

Today, I think, right now, is the first time I have been home alone in over seven weeks. Visitors, bouts of illness, birthday celebrations; a braid of the beautiful, the mundane and the tedious have made the days full and exhausting.

The sun spills over my barrier of pillows. The scrape, scrape, scrape of sleds going down the icy hill make a rhythm not routine. A driver honks, annoyed and missing the spirit of the day. (I think about health insurance, helmets and hard cul-de-sacs and miss it for a moment, too.)

I make a list for Thanksgiving and put on the potato soup for dinner. I look at piles of wet snow clothes leaking damp all over the house.

I toy with thoughts of a nap, cleaning up, a book, prep for tonight... and realize what I need most is a run. But somehow after almost two months of other lists and other chores a run seems like another life-time.

How to kick-start that again becomes the question of the day. Reminders come back that to begin again is devotion and to sweat can be a rest.

And oh, the reward. The sunshine yellow leaves strewn out over pure white snow like petals for a bride. The folded red maple leaf tucked into an icy bank bringing smiles amidst the freeze. The achingly beautiful light filtering all through the forest.

I run the icy path carefully back towards home thrilling at the thought that I did it. I want to yell into the frozen quiet: I'm alive! And what a day to be alive. Stark sunshine, winds sending snow circling all around me like laughter, and the pink tinge of the early, early sunset coming down over the mountain range.

I hear him best out here. He fills the space I make and takes it back. In a way that nothing and no-one else does. He reminds me: make space for me, make it and I will fill it.

I did. He did. He does.

10 comments:

Shanna said...

You know this one speaks to me! Goosebumps as I reached the line "and realize what I need most is a run"...glad you made it out there! What a beautiful way to spend your time :)

kristin said...

"a braid of the beautiful, the mundane and the tedious have made the days full and exhausting."


this got me.

thank you. glad to have found you.

Nancy said...

Misha,

Being an avid runner myself, I know exactly the feeling you are describing. Same goes for a long solo hike which I don't get to do nearly enough. A simple run (and sometimes not so easy to get out there and do!) blanketed with so many layers of beauty and peace if you just open your eyes and soul. Thanks for sharing :)

Shanna said...

Oooo I really like your new header!

Misha Leigh. said...

I always love how the posts on running bring out the runners - I love that! : ) Thank you so much for understanding. It was a total ice-rink and I know some thought I was crazy yesterday - but it was the best thing I did all weekend. : )

Kristin - really glad to have found you, too!

Nancy - I totally agree about the hiking, too. That's the only other thing that has a similar effect to me. I love a good, long, solo hike. BLISS.

Shanna - Thanks! Me, too. : ) Megan at logophilia did it.

Chelle said...

I love your new header too Mish, it's perfect. As is this post, full of exquiste quotes:
" a braid of the beautiful, the mundane and the tedious have made the days full and exhausting."

" I hear him best out here. He fills the space I make and takes it back. In a way that nothing and no-one else does. He reminds me: make space for me, make it and I will fill it."

And your writing just gets better + better.

Nikki said...

I love, love, love this post. So many beautiful sentences, so much truth. It's so easy to miss the beauty of an ordinary day if I don't make myself stop to enjoy it. And I've never thought of it this way before: To make room for God and He will fill it. Thank you for sharing!

Maureen said...

Misha,

This post totally resonated with me. I too am a runner and have been for the past 30+ years (YIKES)! And like you, I can't help but feel close to God when I'm trail running in the woods, high on endorphins and life.

Thanks for expressing that feeling so articulately.

Maureen

Misha Leigh. said...

Hey Maureen,

Yes - and I think the older I get the more I am realizing that time needs to be so intentional and made. Your 30+ years doesn't just inspire me, it gives me courage! : ) Thank you!

Alishia said...

Funny that I read this today because of two things:
1) Hubbs and I are training for a 5k in February. Got an app for my phone that helps me pace it all out. I thought of you and your running. Yay!
2) While thinking of you and your running and all the snow my sister's been getting in Seattle I thought, "Gosh, I hope Misha wears good shoes when she's running and watches out for black ice!" Also, warm stuff on your legs. Don't fall, friend!